!Friday, October 27, 2006
@ 10:57 PM
hurhur, i was just thinking that i'm very anti-social, then a day comes along and i realise that i'm in somewhere within my friends' hearts.
i've had the strangest birthday in all of my 17 years. in the morning of 26oct, at about 2am, i recieved a phone call from my granny's house. i went pale in the face because my granny is very old and has not been feeling well since a few days ago. she was bed-ridden a few months ago. when my uncle told me to come down straight with my family, i was petrified.
i was crying all the way to bukit gombak until my mom told me to get a grip and reminded all of us that should anything happens, all of us are not allowed to cry. it was agony holding back the tears. we called for an ambulance and went down to nuh.
i wish i had learned how to say i love you in cantonese.
so i didn't slept at all and went back at about 5 worrying till morning. my granny's still in nuh.
went to school looking like a zombie.
then spent half of my day doing cadp. junhao and meiliang came and fetch me in the morning with flowers, and everyone took it as a cue to wish me happy birthday.
in the noon, i met up with yan qing n carine (chinyee fly aeroplane again!) at the thai cafe to eat, then i went over to foodcourt 5 where my class was eating cuz i felt like eating spicy drumlets. that's when the mass photo-taking started.
one day i'm gg to kill blogger (i dunno how) because they always upload photos ever so sloooowly. shall stop here till blogger can work again. =(
!
@ 2:25 AM
i was just looking at the flowers junhao gave me today (i.e. 26 oct) and i thought about the relationship between me and the flowers. you see, i share a love-hate relationship with flowers.
i went ga-ga over flowers and drew them in the name of art. of course, i loved my flowers because it doesn't decay like real flowers do and are still nice to look at in the long term. i love getting flowers, but when i see them decay i feel sad. it marks the end of their short-term journey on earth.
these flowers, now looking at it, looks as if they have age 15 years. in the morning they looked like new born babies. it's such a pity to see a good thing gone.
perhaps next time i shall give away flowers when they show signs of decaying.
but, the appreciation comes in watching them decay. for example, i would not get at all emotional over fake flowers. they are like, so fake?!
it's a self conflicting issue. maybe i shouldn't get so emotional over flowers. wahahaa.
had my birthday, it's the strangest strangest strangest birthday i ever had. full details n photos up next.
!Tuesday, October 24, 2006
@ 7:36 PM
this week has been hell since mon. yeah. though today it's only tue. busy like shit. i'm working my arse off. think no time to celebrate bdae. age 17 will pass like that.
!Sunday, October 22, 2006
@ 8:53 PM
is that all to life?
!Thursday, October 19, 2006
@ 2:34 PM
crit came n went.
thanks elvin! u helped me. to me crit went rather badly, thinking that this primer actually dragged my carefully built profile across the mud.
the panel neither love nor hated it. poh even said it was a special project that portrayed nothing bad nor good about it. i'm one special kid.
i'm sitting thru crit now. ah bao says hi.
i need to channel my anger towards something. for a start, primer 3. this week i have tons of things to do but i'm not moving. i have not come up with a design for the hot shop competition. i'm working at planet fitness tomorrow. yay. planet fitness. for a day only. planning to pay meiliang back with my pay. liang treated me to a pedicure yesterday, saying that it has got something to do with the pre-birthday present or something. we haven't gone out for a while, so thanks meiliang (even though we walked around jurong point 4 rounds!).
omg jan has 4 models!!! he has a knack for making "transformer" models, something like the power rangers whereby they change instantly.
(back) his was the only crit whereby everyone actually gathered to watch his "transformation". i think it's a bit far-fetched, and that it's more of a spatial story. his mom, apparently, don't not have any daily activities except to spy on dave mckean. i think i might need to be more crazy.
!Tuesday, October 17, 2006
@ 12:17 AM
i want...
i wanted you.
!Sunday, October 15, 2006
@ 2:45 AM
whatever happened to mambo?!
!Saturday, October 14, 2006
@ 11:28 PM
the happy package
includes : being happy, learning to be happy, see things happily and chanting the mantra EVENT + RESPONSE = OUTCOME.
oh god i'm so adam khoo.
be in touch with your inner soul.
!
@ 3:33 PM
today i'm going to do a "anything goes" post.
let's talk about birkenstocks. a nong nong time ago i showed aaron pictures of birkies, raving about the wonderful sandals. his reaction? "oh, slippers." oh man.
baoting wants to buy it, meiliang n her friends wants to buy it, everyone loves birkies. they are so comfortable! i would love to see more guys wearing the birkies ramesh version. so nice. in fact, men wearing birkies look nicer than women wearing.
there's steven lim performing the repeat show of the "never say die" (show for losers). steven lim approached me n liang the other day on the streets of orchard lamenting about our eyebrows. hello?! i just plucked my eyebrows and i have NO MORE EYEBROWS for him to pluck. duh. then he narrowed his eyes to poor liang. i think it cost $15? $15 to sit outside tangs and humiliate yourself? please lah. we might as well go in to anna sui to pluck. same cost anyway.
ping, this is the tinkerbell bangle that costs US$120. yep, ping has an obession with tinkerbell these days. i have a liking.
a most lovely keyboard found at jurong point popular. it is so thin, it slips like water and and the buttons so springy. awww, so sloppy. love it. cost: $19.95.
guess why the man is wearing half of a suit only? it's an ingenious design. know of online office meetings? yep. wear the top only for the computer screen to please the boss. quirky designs i like.
!Thursday, October 12, 2006
@ 8:50 AM
have you heard the song "don't feel like dancing" by scissors sisters? it's been ringing in my head for a week.
!
@ 8:34 AM
here i am quietly sitting in the studio at 8am with nothing to do. cadp starts at 10 but i had fits of paranoia last night hallucinating that it starts at 8.
yes, i hadn't been well for the past few days.
my emotions had been so badly affected that i can't think properly. i was silently cursing everyone i met. there doesn't seems to be anyone around who could help me. or even notice, for that matter.
i'm beginning to develop claustophobia at home. everywhere seems so tight till i can't breathe. and humid. hot as hell. and tight.
yesterday, on the way home on the train, there was this man across me that stretched out his hand like he was reaching for me. when i stare at him, he quickly pretended that he was on the phone (though he had no phone in his hand). weird. does he know he's behaving weirdly? i think so.
in the future, i shall have so big a space to myself that i won't feel so suffocated anymore.
!Saturday, October 07, 2006
@ 1:19 PM
found this very adorable photo we took at marina after our primer 2 crit.
last row : me, kenneth, yuping, robin
middle row : yuhui, jianping, van, cheekeong
first row graces the appearances of dearest albert and aaron.
brings back the fond memories. no work stress, no competition. just mad fun. xindi was supposed to be here.
a super cute wallet made out of office paper. it cost US20 so i don't think i can afford so much for a paper wallet. my trusty wallet has been with me for 2 years i think. it has turned yellow.
!
@ 1:42 AM
why do i exist and not live in this world?
i have a life goal, but why? this mental illness that is driving me crazy, i'm lonely. save me please.
!Thursday, October 05, 2006
@ 11:37 PM
i tried to call for help... no one understood why i was silently screaming.
!Monday, October 02, 2006
@ 4:01 PM
2nd week of school, it has been a hell of a ride. very soon we'll have our holidays again. i believe.
i wonder why people have to behave like adults? how does an adult behave?
looking back, i did not enjoyed my childhood (the malicious gossiping running in the other family has already manipulated my mind into a scheming plan), in secondary school i felt that i was not grown up enough, and now i think being an adult isn't a good idea. why do we behave like that?
on a lighter note i have already done my work (so i might be quite free this week). NO, I AM NOT BEING KIASU WHEN I DO MY WORK EARLY. i just wish to have an easier life later. for today, i clearly wouldn't like to panic in the middle of night not being able to finish my stuff. i still want to watch my america's next top model.
yesterday was a nightmare. i went to the hometeam carnival to help out (10-4, $40). i got cheated. ARGH! you know this dunking machine? initially both junhao and me assumed that dunking refers to picking up balls from the basketball hoops. what happened was i became the sitter on top of the tank of water whereby people have to throw the ball so i would drop into the tank immediately.
while some people ENJOY this process sitting on top, i was not prepared, i was wearing makeup, no one told me and i have no clothes PLUS i have a fear of water and height. SHIT MAN.
if not for the president's arrival i would not have done it. but i realised i prosituted myself.
:angry:: i got scared and more scared (i was shivering, half crying) and literally freaking out. what disgusted me was the fact that people enjoyed looking at others suffering, especially the men. disgusting creatures. i got paid $30 in the end (the others got $40 for tending the stalls). FUCK IT!
of course, i will not be a bastard. i have to thank the malay boys for helping me (by taking turns to sit). i touched a python yesterday ( i like its skin! p/s: it is not slimey, it is very soft). there was this snake performer.
do people always (under all circumstances) do things to their advantage?