!Thursday, January 29, 2009
@ 3:15 AM
3.15am, and i'm annotating like a year one student. fuck it!
!Tuesday, January 27, 2009
@ 4:18 AM
Ghost Town
in the recent months i have encountered what seems like failed relationships of all sorts. well, in love and friendships at least and mainly. which i often pondered upon, was it my fault, did i 'think over it too much' or my sense of wellbeing had generally been unbalanced.
it is true that my tantrum rates had hit a new skyhigh, and my tolerance a new low. it has got nothing to do with pms, all those usual hoo has. was it work stress? it couldn't be, 3 years of same stress experience under my belt. so what was it?
it could probably be this new keener sense of tactility that i came to posess with the world. like, how i get perpetually disturbed whenever my neighbour the catwoman (at last count, she had 36 cats) howled in the dead of the night or screech with delight calling for her cats. digressing i do have a dislike for feline creatures just BECAUSE their poop stinks. (try having cat poo on your door every other day).
back to the topic. every slightest uncomfortability gets me twitching it is almost unbearable. for instance, surprising messages that makes me want to throw my phone against the wall repeatedly. but i really do love my phone so i didn't do that although i screamed myself hoarse in my heart silently. whatever it was, whenever things didn't went the way i wanted i kicked myself till i got bruised on the inside all over.
i know, i know, it's not healthy. but hey, everyone has their bad times don't they? and crying is not a way to solve it. sleeping is. :) and having a extremely passive attitude is. having acknowledged that i had a somewhat passive attitude sometime ago somewhere, i hereby do sincerely believe that having a more passive attitude will go a longer way.
yeah, and throwing more tantrums. HAHA. but do erase that out, because i'm not jj at face value. talking about face value, i do have to highlight a certain breed of people whom, at face value, are widely successful and popular people but when probe deeper, possesses a nature of trash and a new level of 'cunningness'.
bores me whenever i think about this breed. this is directly in relation with the term time, because time reveals the breed and calibre of man. still, there are some who never revealed, as their thoughts are hidden so deep into the back of their minds they never thought to bring it out. or simply, maybe the time has not come.
i'm sicken at the thought of disgusting human behaviour. so who are you to judge, when you suddenly appear with a gf in tow/throw your temper at me/announce your intolerance level/announce that you are dating someone casually/taken a liking to someone close to me/claims that you know me the best?
don't be, because you do not understand me, let alone read the crux of my heart.
!Saturday, January 10, 2009
@ 4:01 PM
they say, you must be poor to taste the novelty of the rich, be really evil to know what is good, be really unfeeling to experience the magical feel. often i have questioned this sentence, thinking that by listening to people's experiences and learn from it, i too can feel the extreme without going through the other. and it's true, 2008 have been a weird year for me, i have unravelled so many shocking things, newer shocking things now doesn't seem shocking to me anymore.
it's also through my own experience that i significantly learn how to empathetize, to understand and to silently support different notions. in the past i thought by listening i would actually understand. while i used to understand, going through some things just stir every bit of soul inside of me. then i realize, you really have to go through it to feel it. understanding it is not as important anymore.
so what holds for me in 2009? time at the moment is just a phrase that we go through, a period of events. 2009 will come to me after my graduation in SP, when we enter a new significant period of events (workforce, futher studies anyone?)
and one thing that never fails to surprise me is the judgement and un-judgement that my sister has showered me with. most of all love. after the bouts of scolding i got from many different people (including her), she then immerse herself into my situation and reach out to me. it is this gesture that i feel eternally grateful to her, for not judging me after judging me, for being by my side whether i'm wrong or right. but she tackles everything logically and objectively, just like everyone else. which i'm still figuring out if it is a good thing. or not.
it is rare to find someone who will really feel what you are going through, unless the person of course, went through it. so i say, live and make do with it!
!Wednesday, January 07, 2009
@ 3:40 AM
the little blue hand on yuhui's birthday.
it was also the little blue hand that is marvelously holding a one of a kind phone now. exhibit that phone!
!Tuesday, January 06, 2009
@ 2:02 AM
neh gong an geok ah!
HAHAHA
!
@ 1:20 AM
borrowedheaven says:
breakfast like a king lunch like a lord dinner like a beggar
KeEeeEeeEEeeEEeeEee says:
to slim down, i think its bfast like a beggar, lunch like a beggar, dinner like a beggar
!Saturday, January 03, 2009
@ 8:39 AM
sigh. i just realise that the results were out. like, after pondering since school started?
my own fault. for not speaking up for myself.
!
@ 6:07 AM
紙包雞!
雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞雞!
!Thursday, January 01, 2009
@ 3:44 PM
everyday i feel our lives living through us. i do not know how to deal with it.
!
@ 3:40 PM
i feel like a normal teenager. which is GOOD. i wonder what will the future bring, especially in 2009.
another path we are taking again, our graduation and an uncertain future. i used to be so certain about my future, but as graduation creeps up on me i feel nervous. we are going to be thrown into the workforce! or another school/army for that matter.