@ 1:51 AM
and the rattlesnake said, i wished i had hands so i could hug you like a man. and then the cactus said, don't you understand, my skin is covered with sharp spikes that will stab you like a thousand knives.
received something today, in return for my blood. not to mentioned shellshock when i saw it, but i didn't much felt anything until my boss fucked me later on.
it got me thinking, about my low self confidence again, that i was useless and unable to do anything in the office. then my colleague said thank you and for being always there.
always being there, in exchange for my youth. but it's ok, i need to know that i'm growing. it's the only thing which matters, that i hope that one day i will still be young but useful.
!Monday, January 10, 2011
@ 1:17 AM
freedom 2011!
just came back from KL, wonderful experience but as usual i missed out on my new year making resolutions, due to procrastination (again).
so i'm going to make my 2011 resolutions now, before it hits mid year. but first, i'm going to tell you about sunday, which is now yesterday.
i had a good sleep and i woke up feeling happy. i hit the snooze button and actually snooze for 3 more hours. it is probably one of the rare times i allow myself to sleep longer and not feel guilty about it. so i woke up, bathed and did my laundry. (mind you, i hand washed everything) it was such a huge pile of clothes from KL and from the time before i left KL that i was waterlogged by the time it was done.
so when i came out (presumably with a bad shoulder ache now), it started raining. the rain didn't spoilt my sunday morning. in fact, i was secretly elated due to the cancellation of my hell-bent resolution to jog (refer to the following resolutions on exercising). so i hung around the house for a bit and went to the indian restaurant near my place for some food alone. did something different for a change, i actually sat down alone and enjoyed my food and the smell of the rain without the need to do anything, except to eat. it was such a good feeling i think i'm going to make it one of my resolutions.
so after that i went back and met zebra, we went to a baby shower and met up with my hubby for dinner. bottom point is, i forgot about my laundry and when i remembered it i ask my sister to hang it up for me, which she replied that the weather is still bad in jurong. so when i got back, i decided to hang it out and the moment i did it started to drizzle again..
had a difficult time bringing in everything quickly and finding space for all the dripping wet clothes, in which some of it has inevitably inherited colorful stains from my new floral jumpsuits. my mom came jumping mad after she discovered i had wet clothes dripping all over the place at BOH.
what a long winded story about boring laundry. where was i... oh yes, my 2011 resolutions. before i procrastinate again, here it goes.
1. fight procrastination. so far so good at work. so far not so good in personal life.
2. continue to bask and breathe in my new-found freedom. if you have to tell me about your i'm-so-happy-being-attached-and-you stories, i have stories to share too.
3. i will eat healthily. and i will do it my way.
4. i will not be tempted by the new lift which is installed directly outside my house and continue to use my staircase diligently. ok, maybe when i'm carrying my barney luggage. and maybe when i'm carrying heavy things. or maybe when i'm late and it happens to be open at my level. HMMM. (on this topic i say AMEN to the new lift, my dad doesn't have to carry his bicycle anymore up and down the staircase)
5. i will not stay back so late in the office uneccessarily. but i will continue to helpful.
6. i resolve to get my own project this year, goddamit.
7. i resolve to be a super stylist.
8. i resolve to immerse myself in more design related industry things, be it museum hopping or skimming through magazines in the library.
9. i'm going to shop more this year. before you naysayers yell, please hear me out. i'm going to go furniture and accessories hunting more often and develop a better eye for details (this is critical, in order to resolve my #7)
10. speaking about an eye for details, i'm going to pay more attention to the industry details at work and i am going to do my best to be a better learner.
11. i will maintain my sanity at work. if i ever have it.
12. i will be neutral at work. like how it is now.
13. i will learn to balance time in my personal life.
14. i will learn 'a thousand miles' on my office's grand piano if i don't get my ass fired this year.
15. i will learn to strum a string or 2 on the guitar.
16. i will tidy up my license.
that's all for now, i don't want to continue writing about resolutions for the sake of making it.