!Thursday, October 12, 2006
@ 8:34 AM
here i am quietly sitting in the studio at 8am with nothing to do. cadp starts at 10 but i had fits of paranoia last night hallucinating that it starts at 8.
yes, i hadn't been well for the past few days.
my emotions had been so badly affected that i can't think properly. i was silently cursing everyone i met. there doesn't seems to be anyone around who could help me. or even notice, for that matter.
i'm beginning to develop claustophobia at home. everywhere seems so tight till i can't breathe. and humid. hot as hell. and tight.
yesterday, on the way home on the train, there was this man across me that stretched out his hand like he was reaching for me. when i stare at him, he quickly pretended that he was on the phone (though he had no phone in his hand). weird. does he know he's behaving weirdly? i think so.
in the future, i shall have so big a space to myself that i won't feel so suffocated anymore.